Owning her flesh and fire
Crawling out of the cave. Purging the standards, the wicked voices, the downplay.
Purging the shame of space this flesh takes up.
Crawling out of the cave. Hands and knees mud and bloody.
Scars and old callouses, we’ve been here before. We’ve done this work already.
To visit this gravel again is painful. To grovel at our own disappointment…
This woman will not be sealed in a cave to die. Given a fate all to cliché and expected.
This woman is worthy.
And so inch by inch she crawls her way through. She will no longer apologize.
The weight of her hips will be measured in the pounding dance of life celebrated on the earth, the grind into lovers pelvis, the seat of happy baby clung to mama’s side.
The movement of her belly will tell the softest stories of Sunday morning pancakes, of afternoon naps, of safety and comfort from wobbles and fears. The holy center of creation residing within these walls. Powerhouse of expansion, with silver rivers to map the stories.
The flesh of her arms to cradle and coo. To be pinched like rising dough while be nourished at the generous breast. The softest velveteen memories of mother.. She is the epitome of home. Of heart. Of hearth. Of unconditional love and belonging.
Forgiveness… There is much of it.
And so she begins.
Forgive me for forgetting you.
For letting you at the way side.
For not honouring all that you do, and have been through.
Forgive me for not being your best friend. For not being a good friend. For being a bully.
Forgive me for making excuses. For wasting time. For turning the other way.
This is my manifesto to you.
May I love, honour, and cherish you all the days of our life.
May I take care of these feet that carried me from toddlerhood, that walk the earth, that will carry me to my grave.
May I dance without apology when the music finds my soul.
May I eat the food that nourishes my body and also my needs.. With divine laughter and enjoyment.
May I see this flesh as the holy beginning, the newborn in mothers arms. The perfectly created in love. Adored and adorned.